In order to bring regulation to our nervous system we need to understand her and learn her slow and gentle language.
Have you ever noticed how often during the day your system reacts in fear; clenched hands, clenched jaw, shaking, heart pounding, tears, sweaty palms, reactivity, aggression etc. and how often your actual safety is threatened. Many of us have an over zealous nervous system that registers fear even when there is no threat. It doesn’t matter to the nervous system whether the threat is real or imagined (an actual tiger chasing us) or not. The body reacts the same.
“When something reminds traumatized people of the past, their right brain reacts as if the traumatic event were happening in the present.”
~ Bessel Van Der Kolk
When our nervous system is highly activated the qualities of compassion and kindness towards self aren’t available to us. If we’re being chased by a real or imagined tiger, kindness to self is secondary to our survival. It’s when we come out of survival, flight/fight/freeze, that the quality of compassion begins to emerge. We can give our physiology a little bit of support in that direction. This movement away from ourselves into fight/flight/freeze is a biological function. It’s not under our control and yet we can respond with loving compassion and soothing support.
We can tend to our nervous system in the same way we would reach our hand out to a frightened child. If nobody ever took your hand and held you and told you that you are safe then now is the time. It’s time to bring that frightened little child out of hiding and welcome him or her into your arms of safety.
All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.