A single flame holds my attention this morning. Attention that feels magnetically pulled into the stories and pains of my past. I feel the magnetic like attraction of the past and stay quietly focused on the flame that is gently flickering in the foreground. I make no effort nor do I struggle with what is nothing more than an innocent pathway in my brain that has been forged through excessive use.
Although I don’t live there anymore there are times when I feel the strong pull to drop into her dark and murky depths. Some would argue that there is value in going there, over and over again, as if in the revisiting it would relieve the burden when in fact it just strengthens the pathway.
As I provide my physiology with cues of safety; simplicity; presence and compassion my physiology settles out of the persistent dream like nature of the past into the simple and actual reality of being here. With more safety and less focus on the past the physiology begins to release the tension; bracing; identities; burdens; rage and sorrow that is buried in her depths.
To the one who feels misunderstood
As I bring myself into the silent
nature of right now.
The Buddha bows his head to me.
The Buddha that sits on my living room mantle.
The one that is meeting my gaze right now.
Not the one that lives in the past but the
one that lives right here mirroring me
back to myself.
A sweet ceramic dove lifts her head
to echo the silence of the Buddha.
A gentle affirmation that all is well
and that I am held in her soft gaze
the soft open gaze of right now.
Some might misunderstand how I can feel
myself mirrored by an inanimate object.
But only because they have never truly
been held in presence and know that everything
comes alive when seen through the eyes of love
and everything becomes lifeless when seen
through the eyes of the judgemental mind.
I want to live as the Buddha and the sweet ceramic dove
mirroring the silent depths and aliveness of the world around me.
Love,
Candace ♡
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A Simple and Safe Morning Practice for the Sensitive or Traumatized Physiology.
All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.