I know that when undigested pain or trauma (past) gets triggered it’s not who I am and most likely not related to anything that is happening in the present moment. It is the past repeating itself in the present.
The paradox is that what gets triggered is also not separate from who I am. It is mine to hold and to care for.
This is the foundation of all spiritual and trauma healing practices and the source of so much confusion and misunderstanding.
I will break this down experientially for you:
In order for this to make sense we have to put a bit of distance between us and the experience of undigested trauma. Just the right amount of distance but not too much distance. If we don’t put a bit of distance between us and our experience we end up identified and suffering. In other words we believe ‘it’s happening right now”. If we put too much distance we create a sense of absence, more tension and ongoing suffering.
I like to define just the right amount of distance as the tender and attentive holding of a wise and unconditionally loving grandparent.
With this little shift we change the entire experience from suffering to alchemy. We are here as an expression of love where everything returns to it’s original nature which is love. How does it return? It returns through us. This is the miracle of our existence.
To bring this into your experience I will give you a simple exercise that you can do several times a day. It’s simple and kind.
Take several little pauses throughout your day to notice what is happening in your physiology.
To create a tiny little distance imagine yourself as a wise and beloved grandparent turning towards what hurts.. The hurt might be emotional or it might be felt as dysregulation in the nervous system or tension in the body.
You are now the compassionate “holder” of the pain that is arising. The pain is arising in you and has a home in you. A welcoming. Be gentle. Be patient.
And simply notice what happens.
Holding you in gentle compassion.
Love,
Candace
All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.