Healing is not a destination it’s a new way of being with ourselves and our experience. Every moment provides us with an opportunity to begin again.

When we experience trauma there is a shift that happens in our physiology and our innocent childlike orientation to authenticity becomes an orientation to survival. It’s an innocent attempt on behalf of the child to restore a sense of safety and belonging.

When the body is in service to survival; we push it too hard to keep up with a lifestyle we can’t afford; in an attempt to distract we feed it food and substances that the body can’t digest; we impose restrictions on it; we use products and chemicals it was never meant to absorb; we deprive it of sleep; we sleep too much; we use our sexuality; we shut down spontaneity; we apologize for the natural functions of our bodies; we dress it up to attract attention; we shut it down; we rev it up with caffeine and sugar and numb it out with technology.

We smile when we feel sad, mad or devastated. We override it’s cues of not feeling safe. We take medication so we can go to work when we really need to rest and we deprive ourselves of the basics of fresh air, good nutrition, water and exercise.

As we wake up from the demands of the survival physiology a new relationship with the body begins to awaken as well.

“After trauma the world is experienced with a different nervous system. The survivor’s energy now becomes focused on suppressing inner chaos, at the expense of spontaneous involvement in their life.”
~ Bessel Van Der Kolk

The body is no longer seen as a means to an end but an innocent and alive mystery with a natural intelligence that has nothing to do with the mind’s interpretation. It calls us home. We begin to listen. We love and care for our bodies in a new and simple way. We let go of deprivation and excess.

We honour our bodies as the merciful holder of pain and trauma and we give her time to release what she’s holding. We soothe her and let her know it’s safe enough to rest. We give her the tender and compassionate attention she’s been craving.

She teaches us about tenderness, patience and courage.

We heal the painful gap that was caused by so much trauma and disassociation and finally take our seat right here. We bow to her as the meeting place between heaven and earth.” ~ candace

If these words resonate with you I invite you to consider joining me for my upcoming event, A Light in the Dark, a 6 week online course.

Candace Kirby, Counsellor

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