I spent much of my life in a state of dorsal vagal shutdown with a lot of forced participation in life. I participated in life but I didn’t really have the capacity to feel it. My capacity for enjoyment, happiness and excitement was impaired by my systems tendency towards shut down. I was the one who, “didn’t know how to have fun”.
Our species is so cruel and rejecting of things we don’t understand.
I understand dorsal vagal shutdown now and I’m getting more adept at what this state needs to climb the ladder into a more regulated state. I don’t judge myself. I don’t force myself to participate in life. I take care of myself. I have compassion towards all the ages and stages of my life when I had no sense of safety and my ability to cope was overwhelmed.
I know that a lot of people suffer in shutdown alone. In shame and isolation. The impulse is to hide. To avoid. To self protect. I want you to know that you’re not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. These are all intelligent survival adaptations. You survived.
I want to introduce you to the safe, slow and gentle ways I support my nervous system to come out of shut down. Force or coercion doesn’t work. We know that don’t we. Shame is simply cruel and being left behind feels like punishment for something that isn’t in our control. How many times has someone suggested you keep busy when you’re feeling depressed?
Keeping busy is not an antidote to dorsal vagal shutdown.
The symptoms of dorsal vagal shutdown are:
– numbness or dissociation
– feeling disconnected from reality or other people
– low energy or fatigue
– slow heart rate or breathing
– digestive problems or nausea
Dorsal vagal shutdown is often described as being alone in a dark room. People use words like; lifeless; alone; black; endless void; unable to move or self motivate; no energy; stuck; hopeless. Being stuck in dorsal vagal shutdown can lead to depression and suicide ideation.
“It is when we feel as though we are trapped and can’t escape the danger that the dorsal vagal pathway pulls us all the way back to our evolutionary beginnings. In this state we are immobilized. We shut down to survive.” ~
I know that being in the company of other humans can be very challenging for those of us who are experiencing dorsal vagal shutdown. Safe people and safe spaces are hard to find. People are scary. Spaces are often overwhelming. But….. being in safe spaces with safe people are one of the ways we can begin to come out of dorsal vagal shut down especially when the space is oriented to your need for safety; acceptance; understanding; low stimulation; slowness; softness and ease.
“Connection is the antidote to the isolation that trauma creates. Through connection, we find safety, support, and the possibility of healing.,” ~ Deb Dana
You are welcome to join me and a small group or participants for our Free Online Weekly Gathering, A Resting Place. Each week we will cover a new topic related to trauma, the nervous system and awakening to our nature of ease. I hope you’ll join us.
All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.