It rained last night and the air is cool and heavy this morning. I love the sound and the feel of rain. I especially love the weight of the dark grey overcast sky. It seems particularly still this morning. I lit some candles and the woodsy smell of cedar is finding it’s way to my senses.

Bringing attention to what’s happening outside of me is a way to support and connect with what’s happening inside even though I know there really is no difference. No inside. No outside. Everything is appearing in the same open field of awareness. There is a familiar clench in my jaw. It’s softening this morning as I rest into a quiet and gentle listening. Curious. There are tears of release. I love the feel of tears in the same way I love the rain. Heavy with the past. I don’t mind. I feel the weight of my body on the couch. I feel safe and cozy here.

I wonder how many times my jaw has clenched in this defensive pattern. I don’t go into the stories because I know that I get easily lost there. I stay here as the remnants of my past unwind and release. The body knows how to do this when the time is right.

I sense a quietening in my physiology. I used to try to impose quiet on myself. Now I know that the body does not like to be forced. I’m curious about the nature of quiet in the same way I’m curious about the arising past. Gently listening. Open to the way the quiet demands nothing from me. How the candles flicker in the quiet as my hand reaches out to gently stroke my cheek. The body loves slowness and tender compassion. The body has taught me to be slow and soft. To be patient. To trust it’s wisdom.

Wishing you a gentle day filled with loving awareness.

© Candace Kirby

Candace Kirby, Counsellor

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