One of my morning practices is to look outside and attune to the morning. If you see me standing in my doorway looking outside at 5:00 am that’s what I’m doing.
Attunement is simple looking, listening and quietly orienting attention towards the actuality of the present moment. It’s a beautiful and simple practice of reverence for what is.
The first thing I noticed this morning was the feel of cool air on my face as I opened the door. A west coast mist. The leaves have fallen off the maple trees in my front yard and little sparkly raindrops have taken their place. I was going to take a picture but I knew a picture couldn’t possibly capture the beauty nor the stillness of the morning. 4 seagulls flew over, dipping and swaying, in the gentle breeze. Some people call seagulls scavengers but I am truly in awe of them. I love the how they open their wings and move with the wind currents. They are highly adaptable and resilient.
Did you know seagulls can drink both salt water and fresh water? When they are making a lot of squawking noise it means they feel threatened. They are survivors.
When I came back inside to sit I noticed some disturbance in my physiology. I was Christmas shopping online last night. It’s very stressful this time of year. It seems that my physiology only knows one way to respond to the internal and external pressure of Christmas; anxious; bracing, contracting, disconnecting, ruminating about it, pressure, pleasing, appeasing and resentment.
I recognized this as past conditioning and gave myself some time to just allow it to be here. Aware; present; compassionate; quiet; no judgement; listening and noticing it begin to relax. Quiet words of reassurance to a sensitive system that naturally took on the expectations, roles and rituals of the world I grew up in.
“The only place the past remains unintegrated is in the human psyche.” ~ candace
I am no longer at the mercy of my past conditioning. Being aware gives me other options that are more in alignment with my nature. My truth. Authentic, simple, easy, kind, genuine, unburdened and spacious are some of the words that came to me. I immediately felt my physiology beginning to relax and even brighten up a bit. Today I am making shortbread. One of my favourite things to do this time of year. No pressure. Just the familiar textures, tastes, smells and memories that evoke a sense of joy and a heartfelt connection to Christmas.
All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.