I listen to life’s little nudges.  They are usually subtle but deliberate at the same time.  They move through my body as a simple and direct impulse “do this”.  They never make sense to my mind and my personal agenda but I follow them anyway.  I trust them.  I don’t question.  

Yesterday I felt a nudge to go out to my back yard and I found (or she found me) one little snowdrop growing up through the weeds. A gentle reminder that Spring is just around the corner.  A reminder of beauty and innocence and how things grow even without our help.  A reminder that nature has her own cycles of dormancy and growth.  I saw that she reflected my own cycle of growth and dormancy.  I wondered about what makes the snowdrop start to wake up at exactly the right time every year.

Early this morning I felt a nudge to light a long row of candles rather than the one or two candles that I normally light in the morning.  As my hand, with the lit match, was reaching out to the candle wick I felt the sacredness of this ritual in a way that I haven’t felt it for a long time.  I know this one little moment of the holy will live in me and guide me through my day.  I reflected on all the ways that candles have been used throughout the ages and for a moment my hand was every hand that has reached out to light a candle as sacred ritual. 

When we pay attention to the little nudges we are being guided towards a much deeper and more significant reality than we see on the surface.  Life is so noisy and chaotic.  These little nudges are uncomplicated, effortless and quiet; calling us towards something more natural.  Something more essential.  Our holy nature of simplicity and authenticity. 

The reason that so many of us are out of sync with life is that we are filled with stress and undigested trauma.  Our body is oriented towards survival.  It’s the mystery and conundrum of the human being.  We long for peace and yet our physiology is wired for survival.  Just pause and consider that for a moment.  We long for peace which is only available in the present moment and our physiology is wired for survival which orients us away from the present moment towards a future where we will finally be safe.  A future where nothing is chasing up.  A future where we can rest.

I have been studying this dilemma for many decades.  First and foremost through my own experience of traumatized human being; and through a spiritual lens as a decades long meditator and committed spiritual seeker and more recently through the healing trauma and nervous system lens.  My own experience has ultimately been my guide and all the nudges along the way that said; “do this”, “look here” and even “stop doing and stop looking”. 

In my experience the role of the nervous system in waking up to our essential nature has been the missing link in spirituality and the role of presence is the missing link in most therapeutic and trauma and nervous system healing.  We are both fully human and fully divine.  We come from the ground and are illuminated by holy presence.  Anyone who has sat with a person who is dying knows this through their own experience.  This, right here, is the meeting place between heaven and earth.  This human being who has more creature nature  than any of us like to admit and this presence that shines with eternal and unconditional light.  We are both heaven and earth right here in every moment. 

You are welcome to join me and a small group of friends for our weekly free online gathering.  Each week we will cover a new topic related to trauma, the nervous system and awakening to our nature of ease:  A Resting Place

All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.

Candace Kirby, Counsellor

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