Freeze is a survival response that happens in the physiology as a result of overwhelm. It’s not something that we do but rather something that happens. It’s almost always an imprint of early childhood trauma.

Freeze is an overlay on reality. A dampening down of the senses. A kind of deadening. A confusing disorientation that says, “I can’t feel myself connected to the aliveness of this moment”.

Freeze evokes a sense of being homesick. Homesick for the simple and ordinary sounds, smells, sensations, emotions and images that let us know that we are alive. That we belong here. The sound of birds chirping; the smell of coffee; cool air on our arms; the taste of strawberries and even the sweet tears of grief.

Freeze creates a sense of absence from reality. Separation. We know it’s here but we can’t feel it. It’s from this place that we begin to seek for something outside of ourselves to free us from the agony of this absence.

What I’ve discovered from my own experience and in working with clients is that the cure for freeze is in the freeze itself. It calls us home to ourselves.

Healing happens slowly and it needs to happen slowly in order to digest the overwhelm that is contained within it. It’s tender, sweet and innocent. It’s protected. It often requires the support of a skillful and compassionate practitioner who knows how to go slow and build a foundation of safety and trust.

All of Candace’s services are Trauma, PTSD, Complex Grief, Chronic Illness and Benzo withdrawal symptom sensitive.

Candace Kirby, Counsellor

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